So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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