I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
