I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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