I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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