Christians are straight up FREAKS
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
