Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
