Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
