Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
and she was petting her beer can
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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