ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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