Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
