What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
