its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
