just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
