a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
