i permit you to call me
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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