i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
