i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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