plz talk dirty to me
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
