i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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