My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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