You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
