just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
