I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
