I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
