I hate all girls vehemently.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
