She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
