so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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