I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
