As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
