He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
