im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize