I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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