i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
