I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
