Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
