In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member