what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
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I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT