she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he told me I talked like a deaf person
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?