nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
