I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
