I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
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