At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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