I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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