turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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