careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
