Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
