I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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