Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
