weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
