Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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