u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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