Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
