I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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