I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
