..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
