what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
