playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
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