your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
