If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize