God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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