I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
