I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
