you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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