Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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