Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
