So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
