Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Duck Duck Cougar?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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