I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
you never un-have a 4some
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
