Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
