i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
