So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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